This is a work of fiction and all characters are over 18.
Although a quarter of a century has passed since these incidents occurred, it seems like only yesterday that they happened. I have never related these events to another living soul until now. To the best of my knowledge, my brother and I are the only people who are aware of our time of discovery together. And now I share these events with you…
Yes, I suspect it is a combination of shame and guilt that have kept either Gary or me from sharing these experiences with even our closest friends, or even with our spouses. These events had a profound impact on my life, my psyche’ and my future sexual desires. They shaped who I am and what arouses me.
I did not expect nor desire what happened. I would never have predicted that my first, and possibly my most enjoyable, sexual encounter of my life would be shared with my brother.
I asked that the readers try to suspend judgment as they read of this story of sexual discovery that felt completely fulfilling, beautiful and intimate to me as I made this journey. I ask that you try to understand that many ‘sins’ that we commit are simply because we are placed into a situation that adequately tempt us. I ask that the readers recognize this story for what it is, a beautiful and emotionally draining, but guilt ridden, sexual awakening. An awakening that society has deemed completely inappropriate, yet one I still find incredibly arousing.
As a young girl, I was tempted and I succumbed.
One final point, I confess that as I write this I am becoming aroused and excited by these memories. Yes, as I start to record my sexual discovery with my brother, I am acutely aware of my pulse in my now erect clitoris, and the distinct wetness of my vagina. My nipples are erect, and I am leaking into the gusset of my panties at the very thought of these events.
Yes, despite the shame and guilt I feel, these memories arouse me more than you can imagine, even today. I am certain that as I tell my story, and relive these intimate events, I will stop occasionally to relieve my excitement by masturbating. I want you to share my excitement, so whenever I do stop to masturbate, I will make note of it in the story with a comment: (masturbation break), so you will know when I have felt the need to release my tensions and have a climax.
It was the spring of 1990. I was a senior in high school and had just turned 18. My body was still developing. My hormones were raging. I was acutely aware of my clitoris and my nipples seemed to be perpetually erect.
Unfortunately, for a variety of reasons, I was not the girl of choice among the limited assortment of teenage boys at my high school.
Perhaps it was because I was a straight ‘A’ student, whom the teachers seemed to love but many other students seem to resent. Perhaps it was the fact that I had shot up to nearly six foot tall, and towered over most of the boys in my class. Perhaps it was because while my figure was now developing, and my breasts while perky and firm, they were a rather small, ‘B’ cup; I was not the voluptuous symbol of sexy many adolescent boys desire. Perhaps it was the fact that I was a female athlete and not a ‘girly girl’ that many of the boys seemed to seek out. Or perhaps it was because I was basically shy and had trouble with the witty but cuttingly sarcastic banter that the popular kids seemed to have mastered so effectively.
Regardless of the reason, mine was a lonely existence as I prepared to graduate and move on to college next year. Fortunately, I discovered the wonders of masturbation, and that helped me keep my sanity and alleviate the constant desire that centered around my loins. Yes, I had become very good friends with my clitoris. I had mastered the key to achieving very pleasant, but private, orgasms before falling off to sleep most nights.
As I grew from an adolescent girl to a young woman, I was absolutely obsessed with being seen and treated as a mature adult. Nothing infuriated me as much as being perceived as a child, or a little girl, who was not taken seriously. This was particularly true in my relationship with my older brother. I desperately wanted to be ‘grown up’; perhaps I wanted this a little bit too much.
My family situation was fairly normal. Gary was a year older than me and a freshman at a university located about an hour and a half from our home. Gary was home for spring break. I had not seen him since Christmas and was thrilled to have him home.
Gary was a gifted athlete who had been the second leading scorer on the high school basketball team. He had enjoyed the adoration of the entire school as a star basketball player, but now he was just now coming to grips with the fact he was not the celebrity at college that he had been in high school.
Over Christmas, Gary had confessed that he missed the attention he enjoyed previously, and lamented that he may never get that feeling again. The thought seemed to halkalı escort depress him.
Both my parents worked in demanding professional jobs. They both traveled, leaving me alone often. On occasion, their work would take them away over night at the same time, leaving me to fend for myself for a day or two. I was basically trustworthy. By ‘basically trustworthy’ I mean, I would not do anything too terribly stupid or outrageous. To be perfectly honest, I had experimented with pot and alcohol, as almost all kids will; however I would never drive impaired, or drive with anyone who was impaired. Also, I would never have a group of kids over the house while my parents were away. In short, I knew where the boundaries were and could stay within them.
Gary and I were close as siblings, but we also typically respected each other’s space and privacy. We fought occasionally, but we had a closeness and bond that only siblings can understand. We both realized that no one else could ever see the world from our vantage point; as the only two children of our parents. In short, I missed him when he left for college, particularly when both parents were away on business and I was home alone for several days.
It was a Wednesday evening in early April, 1990, and Gary was going to be home for a little more than a week, when both mom and dad were called away on separate business trips. Mom would return on Friday, and dad was away for about a week. This left Gary and me alone at home for the next two nights. I was glad he was home and I would not be alone.
On the first night, we shared a casserole that mom had left us. Afterward, Gary went out to the back patio by the pool, and lit a joint. This was a fairly brazen thing for him to do. I was not aware of any other time he had smoked pot at home; certainly never in my presence.
I was not shocked or offended, but I was intrigued. I did not want to come across as the little kid sister who might ‘squeal to mom and dad’, but I did want to understand what was going on with my brother.
“Gary, what gives? You probably shouldn’t be doing that at home. What if the parental units find out? You’ll be toast,” I cautioned.
“They will never know a thing, sis. I wouldn’t do this in the house. But out here by the pool, there really is no risk,” he replied.
Obviously, he had grown more bold since leaving for college.
We had a nice pool and Jacuzzi in a fenced backyard. It was secluded and private. Someone would have to make a concerted effort to spy over the six foot wooden fence through the lush landscaping to see anything we were up to in our yard.
“But you never smoked at home before. What gives?” I pressed further.
“I don’t know. I guess I am pretty bummed out about school. I am struggling in a couple of my math and finance courses. I am not sure I am cut out for college. I guess I am nervous about having to start to grow up. I have had a pretty good time in high school. What if this is as good as it gets for me? What it everything is down hill from here.”
Gary ‘s comments struck me as odd. I could not wait to grow up, go away to college, become an adult, and be treated as such. Gary seemed to dread the transition to adulthood.
Gary took another hit and then offered the joint to me. I hesitated for a moment, not really wanting to get stoned on a school night, but then took the joint and drew the magic smoke into my lungs, holding it deeply for maximum effect. “We shouldn’t be doing this Gary.”
“Liz, we are not hurting a soul. I am going to have a beer. You want one?” my older brother offered.
“Won’t dad notice if some are missing?” I cautioned.
“He never has. He has about a case and a half in the ‘frig in the garage. If we do not get greedy, he won’t miss a thing.” Gary returned moments latter with four beers, and handed one to me.
I have to admit, I felt very mature, sitting on the patio sharing a joint and beer with my older brother who was home from college, as we talked about his college experiences. Gary had three beers to my one. He stood up, and walked over to the control panel for the pool and hot tub.
“I am going to temp the hot tub up. Care to join me?” he offered.
I simply shrugged. I was enjoying this closeness with my older brother, and the feeling associated with being treated like an equal by him. It was a unique feeling for me. I wanted this evening to continue.
After turning on the spa heater, Gary went to the garage and got four more beers. He handed me one, and quickly downed his first. He then prepared another joint. I could see that my older brother was intent upon getting just a little ‘fucked up’ this evening. Since he was on spring break, and did not have to get up for class in the morning, there was really no harm done. On the other hand, I had to attend school the next morning.
We shared the second joint and I finished my second beer. I olgun escort was feeling relaxed and content, my head was swirling slightly. The pot and beer had me in a state of euphoria. I could hear Gary slurring his words every so slightly, revealing that the pot and beer was effecting him as well.
“Liz, let’s get in the hot tub,” Gary suggested.
“Okay, I’ll get my suit on,” I replied.
“Sis, we don’t need suits. Let’s go skinny dipping. Let’s be a little naughty,” Gary said with a gleam in his eyes.
I blushed deeply at the thought. “Oh, Gary, I can’t do that. I would be too embarrassed. We need to keep our underwear on at least,” I protested.
“Liz, you are such a cute little prude. Okay, we’ll keep our underwear on; just to make you happy,” Gary said as he finished his last beer. He stood, kicked off his shoes, and stripped off his socks. He then walked to the hot tub while pulling his t-shirt over his head and unbuckling his jeans, stepping out of them and tossing them on a chair by the pool.
I sat silently studying my brother’s impressive physique as he stood in his plaid colored boxers with his back to me. His broad shoulders and muscular legs appealed to me. Gary had become a fine specimen of male anatomy. He had a certain muscular and athletic shape that reminded me of those statues from ancient Greece mythology. Yes, I had to admit that I had a ‘school girl crush’ on my older brother.
(up until this moment, this crush was not really sexual in nature. It was more an adoration coupled with a feeling of inferiority towards my brother. He was better looking, sexier, and more desirable that I felt. I wished I had his appeal.)
As he stepped in the spa, I could see a couple of inches of his flaccid penis poking out his boxers’ pants leg. Gary climbed into the spa in his underwear.
I must confess, I was woefully inexperienced sexually. The brief glimpse of his penis extending out of the leg of his boxers was the first penis I had ever seen, and despite the fact that it belonged to my brother, I felt a strange twinge in my vagina as my clitoris began to stiffen at this surreal situation. I was pretty sure that the first cock a girl saw was not supposed to be her brother’s. Nonetheless, mine was.
I sat there for several seconds, unable to move. Gary moved to the opposite side of the spa and called out, “Come on ‘Lizard-breath’, come join me, the water is perfect.”
‘Lizard breath’ was the nickname he gave me for my real name, ‘Elizabeth’. It was the closest show of affection that he could muster at this moment.
I wanted to join my brother and to continue relating to him as an equal. I liked the ‘grown up, adult feeling’ I was experiencing this evening. I did not want it to end too quickly.
I could feel my face burning red, and my heart pounding in my chest. I slowly arose, and walked towards the spa. I kicked off my sandals, and nervously unbuckled my shorts. My hands were actually shaking. I could not seem to release the metal button to remove my shorts. I looked up at Gary to see if he was aware of my nervousness; I wondered if he could see my trembling fingers as I struggled with the clasp. He did not seem to notice.
Finally, after an inordinate amount of fumbling with it, I released the snap and lowered the zipper. I pulled my light tan shorts over my slightly, round bottom and let them fall to the ground.
I stood there in front of my brother in my panties and t-shirt.
I was emotionally torn. I wanted so badly to be viewed as a mature woman, to be treated as an equal by my older brother. Somehow, getting in the hot tub wearing just our underwear seemed wicked and wrong. However, despite being emotionally torn, my desire, or perhaps need to show Gary that I was ‘all grown up’ overcame my apprehension.
I stood motionless, trying to process this situation. There was no denying the fact that my brother, stripped down to his underwear in the hot tub, had my vagina and clitoris at full attention. I could feel myself starting to leak into the gusset of my pale green cotton panties. I felt so naughty and bad, but I liked the wicked excitement of this. Despite my internal conflicts, I had no desire to retreat.
As I recall the events of this fateful evening, I also know that the beers and the pot had impaired my judgment and lowered my inhibitions. If I had not smoked those joints with my brother and drank those beers, I likely would have had the good sense to politely decline Gary’s invitation to join him in the spa. But in my euphoric state, I could not seem to say ‘no’. In my slightly impaired state, the excitement and temptation were simply too great.
“Come on sis, join me,” Gary beckoned.
Nervously, I pulled my shirt over my head, and stood in front of Gary wearing only pale green cotton panties and matching cotton bra. There was nothing overtly şişli escort sexy or revealing about them; nonetheless, I felt quite exposed.
I realized that my little breasts barely filled the ‘B’ cup of the bra, but my nipples were hard as pebbles. They poked through the material of my bra plainly for Gary to see.
I saw Gary looking at me and smiling. “I know, my little titties are pretty unimpressive, huh?” I said in a self deprecating manner to hide my embarrassment and nervousness.
“Nonsense, Sis, you are getting a great figure. You are really starting to look good.”
Gary was staring at me appreciatively. Gary looked at me with a combination of lust and admiration that I had not experienced before. I am ashamed to admit that I enjoyed his gaze. At that moment, I felt pretty, even sexy, for the first time in my young life. My skin felt like it was on fire, burning crimson under my older brother’s gaze and his compliment of my budding bosoms.
I smiled demurely, and said nothing. I climbed into the spa in my bra and panties. A moment after I climbed in the water, Gary’s expression changed to a bit of surprise and then a broad smile broke across his face.
“What?” I asked, confused by his expression.
“Nothing,” he said, but his smile grew even broader.
“No seriously, Gary; what is it.” There was a nervousness in my voice. I feared that I was soon to be made the butt of a cruel joke.
“Well, don’t get self-conscious on me, but have you heard the expression ‘wet t-shirt’?” Gary said through a large smirk. “Well, I just learned that some bras act the same way.”
I looked down at my pale green cotton bra had all but disappeared in the wetness of the sap. My nipples and areolas were plainly visible under the diaphanous wet cotton material of my bra. I assumed my panties were behaving in a similar manner, but the water provided some cover of modesty for my adolescent vagina. But with the water level ‘chest high’, my tiny breasts and erect nipples seemed to float on the surface of the water. My breasts could not be any more exposed if I were topless.
“Oh, my god, Gary,” I said as I crossed my arms up to cover my breasts.
“Come on Liz. Don’t be silly. You look good, I mean you look really good. Relax. Let me enjoy the view.”
“Gary, don’t make fun of me. I know they are tiny.” I honestly thought he was laughing at my small breasts.
“Elizabeth, I am telling you. You look good, very good. You have nothing to be ashamed of…”
I gave him a look of pure disbelief. “Gary, please, not tonight, don’t tease me.” I kept my arms folded across my chest.
Gary remained silent for a moment, contemplating what to say or do next.
“You don’t believe me? Just look at this…” Gary said as he slowly stood up.
I could not help letting a very audible gasp escape from my lips. There was a huge tent forming in Gary’s boxer shorts. His penis was growing erect. I do not mean just a little firm. My brother’s penis was throbbing to full attention in front of my very eyes.
“Oh, my God, Gary. What is happening to you?” I asked with naïve amazement. I had never seen a penis up close before, much less an erect one. I certainly had never witnessed one growing erect as I watched. Even under the material of his wet cotton boxers, the growing erection was an impressive sight.
I was excited and alarmed. I asked in honest amazement, “What is causing that? How are you doing that?”
“You are, Elizabeth. You and your wet bra and panties. You look sexy. It is nothing I am doing, and it is nothing I can control. You are a very beautiful girl. You are becoming a very beautiful young woman. Trust me. I can’t fake something like this.”
My head was literally spinning now. I really did not know how to respond. “Gary, maybe we shouldn’t be out here like this. It doesn’t feel right.” I was confused, excited and scared.
Gary smiled and said reassuringly, “No, I think everything is just fine.” His confidence at the situation, and his comfort and control after just showing me his boner was more appealing and attractive that I can explain. He was confident and he was ‘in control’; which even today, I find absolutely an irresistible set of traits.
Nearly twenty-five years later, as I recall this evening, I must confess that I really did not want this very exciting experience to end. If I am truly honest with myself, I must confess that I was conflicted at that moment with guilt and shame, and with excitement and sexual curiosity. My brother’s erection was simply fascinating to me. And the fact that my transparent, diaphanous bra was fueling his erection gave me a feeling of sexual power and attractiveness that was simply addictive. I was in a trance of sorts. It was a trance of lust, excitement and curiosity that was fueled by a bizarre situation and the euphoria of pot and alcohol. I wanted to allow my brother to continue to look at me. I wanted to continue to fuel his erection.
I just sat there silently, Gary sat back down in the water and his erection vanished from my view. I did not know how to react, or what to do. So I did nothing. Slowly, I unfolded my arms and sat up so that my wet bra was visible to my older brother’s gaze. Time seemed to stand still as we sat there silently for two or three minutes.
Finally, I broke the silence, “So, what do you do when you get that?”