Bisexual Somali Masculinity

Babes

“Sometimes, it feels like the whole world is against me,” Yusuf Sharif said to himself. Sitting on a bench inside the Bayshore Shopping Center, one of Ottawa’s busiest malls, Yusuf watched folks walking by. Even now, he was aware of subtle changes happening within himself, and in his perceptions. A certain awareness, of sorts. For a long time, he wished it would go away. Now he was slowly accepting it…

Is the world ready for an openly bisexual man of Somali descent? Yusuf had certainly never heard of any Somali person, male or female, who admitted to being anything other than heterosexual. For the thousandth time, Yusuf was thankful that he’d been born in the City of Ottawa, Ontario, as opposed to Puntland, his father Ahmed Sharif’s birthplace. If Yusuf lived there and people found out he had such feelings, he’d be a dead man.

Yusuf’s eyes locked onto a couple walking by, a slim Asian guy with too-tight pants and spiky hair, holding hands with a pretty blonde-haired young woman. The pair made their way to the crowded food court. Yusuf shook his head, for something inside told him beyond a shadow of a doubt that Mr. Tight Pants didn’t sleep with girls. The dude wasn’t bisexual, he couldn’t be. Nope, he only liked dudes. Had to be the blonde’s chick platonic shopping buddy.

“Whatever makes you happy,” Yusuf muttered, wondering why a lot of women went for guys who were so blatantly unavailable, when, in his not-so-distant straight days, he got friend-zoned by a lot of women. Isn’t that always the case? When a man is decent, normal, and nothing out of the ordinary, ladies see him as too bland, too boring and too available. Oh, well…

For a brief moment, Yusuf wondered if, now that he was a sexually confused, down-on-his-luck, self-admitted ( but presently celibate ) bisexual man, instead of a too-available and presumably eager straight dude, would chicks start coming onto him? After all, didn’t women always go for men with something wrong with them? Hmmm. Yusuf decided that it was going to be interesting to find out…

Yusuf’s eyes kept going back to that unusual pair, and he was puzzled by this, because neither of them was his type. The blonde gal had no ass, and Yusuf, who likes a big round ass on a woman, couldn’t forgive that. The dude whom Blondie was walking around with seemed to ooze femininity, and Yusuf really, really disliked such characteristics in a man. Yusuf always turned down the effeminate dudes if they so much as came within sniffing distance of him.

A few moments later, while lining up at Subway, Mr. Tight Pants, still holding hands with the blonde gal, subtly scanned the vast room. Mr. Tight Pants eyes met Yusuf’s, and Yusuf quickly looked away. Yusuf checked his watch, and continued to feel the stranger’s gaze on him. After a while, Yusuf looked up, and saw that the pair had moved on. They were both laughing about something, and, predictably, Mr. Tight Pants voice was as high-pitched as that of his blonde lady friend…

“Confirmation,” Yusuf said to himself, shaking his head. The only men who make such intense eye contact with men they don’t even know are men who are into men. Yusuf continued his solitary observation of the world around him. The world of a man who, for the longest time, identified as straight, only to recently become aware of his emerging bisexuality. At first, Yusuf fought those feelings, and was now struggling to accept them.

Yusuf recalled how, a few days ago, while walking around the Rideau Shopping Center in downtown Ottawa, he was approached by a tall, older White man. The old cat was on the prowl, well-dressed, and confident. He was without a doubt the kind of man who was used to enticing young men to his bed because of his money. Yusuf, disgusted by the old dude’s blatant come-on, harshly turned him down.

“Not interested, bozo,” Yusuf said angrily, before walking away from Mr. Rich Geezer. As a tall young Black man in a dark hoodie and loose-fitting jeans, Yusuf was used to having people stare at him. The old White dudes were the worst. They seemed to have a virulent hatred for young Black men. The very thought of going to bed with one of those bozos who had so much power in Canadian society and used it to oppress others irked Yusuf. Thanks but no thanks.

For the longest time, Yusuf wondered why, all of a sudden, guys started coming onto him. This puzzled him because it didn’t use to happen before. Yusuf looked at himself in the mirror, wondering if he looked, acted, or dressed in a way that invited them. He’d spent his whole life being a regular guy, watching lots of man/woman and female/female porn, and going on dates with women. He had sex with women. He liked it. So, what gives?

In Yusuf’s experience, most gay males that he knew were blatantly obvious. They had funny voices, womanly mannerisms, and seemed more comfortable in the company of women than in that of regular men. Yusuf wasn’t like that. He didn’t have a fondness for tight clothing, he didn’t sound like a woman, and he looked, acted and dressed bahis firmaları like a regular guy, thank you very much.

Of course, Yusuf knew that there were gay men out there who looked and sounded ‘normal,’ and he didn’t mind being on friendly terms with a few. He wasn’t looking for sex or anything. He was just learning to be comfortable with the fact that he was bisexual. Lots of gay men had their doubts about the existence of male bisexuality, and Yusuf was the first to tell them to fuck off. He didn’t owe these people anything. He was fine going his own way, all by himself. Thank you very much.

As Yusuf began to do more research about the LGBT community, from intensely personal YouTube testimonials to dull, clinical academic works, he realized that they were a complex, varied bunch. The majority of gay men and bisexual men looked and sounded exactly like most straight men, but the effeminate gay males were the most visible members of the LGBT community and seemed to be its leaders, for some reason.

A certain die-hard hatred for bisexuals, especially bisexual men, seemed to be part of the LGBT community’s bread and butter. Even bisexual women seemed to have something against bisexual men, considering them strange and not worthy as potential lovers or partners. This baffled Yusuf, but then again, the young Somali Muslim realized that he really should not be surprised. Very little about these people made sense…

Yusuf wondered if there was a society or club for bisexual men, and wondered if there was a way to tell bisexual men apart from gay men and straight men. Most of the time, Yusuf felt sexually attracted to women, but he wasn’t hetero. Yusuf couldn’t use himself as a measuring stick because he didn’t think of himself as somehow representative of a community which he knew so little about. He hoped that some clarity would come with time.

Yusuf sighed deeply, and continued his observations. When his eyes followed a tall, big-bottomed young Arab woman in a Hijab and Yoga pants, he smiled. Yusuf absolutely loves big-bottomed women, and was rejoiced by the fact that they still appealed to his senses. He didn’t want to wake up one day with zero attraction to women. Yusuf didn’t roll like that. Of course, it might help if the ladies didn’t ignore him, of course…

“Nobody wants you until someone else has you,” said Abdi Dawod, one of Yusuf’s best friends, as they talked about life, early in their friendship. Yusuf smiled, remembering Abdi’s words of wisdom when it came to sex and relationships. Yusuf met Abdi during his first day at Algonquin College. The tall, bald-headed, dark-skinned and muscular young Somali man with the easy smile and confident stride took an immediate liking to Yusuf, and they became pals.

As it turns out, Yusuf and Abdi had a lot in common. They were both in the Police Foundations programme, and being up and coming young Somali Muslim men, they totally bonded. Yusuf missed Abdi, big-time. For Yusuf, going through this…mess, would be a lot easier if his best friend was around. Unfortunately, Abdi was in the province of Alberta, working in the oil and gas industry.

“Amen to that, brother,” Yusuf replied, and he and Abdi exchanged dap. Yusuf closed his eyes briefly, remembering those not too distant days. He and Abdi were tight, two good friends hanging out at school and beyond. At the time, Abdi was dating a fine Hispanic chick named Roxana Sanchez and he introduced Yusuf to a cute Jamaican chick named Eloise Waller.

For Yusuf, once he took a look at Eloise fine ass, which made Serena Williams look small, it was love at first sight. Yusuf grinned and opened his eyes, remembering those great times he and Eloise had. The five-foot-ten, long-haired, athletic and curvy, big-bottomed and gorgeously dark-skinned Jamaican cutie absolutely loved sex and could go on like the Energizer Bunny. Yusuf couldn’t get enough of her…

“You love this ass,” Eloise said to Yusuf as they came home from the movies one night, and chilled at his Rez. Yusuf sat on the couch, watching Eloise as she slipped out of her outfit, a red tank top which captured her big breasts, and booty shorts that her thick ass was threatening to burst out of. Eloise looked hot as fuck, and Yusuf wanted to smash…badly.

“Hell yeah, cutie, now come here,” Yusuf said, slapping his knee for emphasis, and Eloise flashed him a coy smile before complying. Yusuf grinned, his heart thundering in his chest as Eloise came near, and then sat on his lap. Tentatively, Yusuf reached for Eloise breasts, and caressed them gently. He reached for her thick ass cheeks, his real target, and squeezed them none too gently…

“The booty chaser, what are you going to do to me?” Eloise asked, sticking her tongue out, and Yusuf grinned, and smacked her ass. Eloise yelped, and yielded to Yusuf as he drew her into his arms, and they began to do their thing. Yusuf kissed Eloise passionately, and then laid her on the couch. Spreading her thick, dark thighs, Yusuf inhaled Eloise womanly scent, then kaçak iddaa went to work on her pussy.

“Nobody eats pussy better than me,” Yusuf said proudly, and he proceeded to show Eloise that he was a man of his word. He buried his face between Eloise legs and ate her pussy like a champ, sucking on her clit and fingering her pussy. Eloise moaned softly as Abdi did his thing, eating her pussy like there was no tomorrow. Yusuf loved to pleasure females in this manner, and took great pride in coaxing an orgasm or two out of them…

“Dammit, Yusuf, that was fun,” Eloise said in a husky, sexy voice. Yusuf grinned, for he was just getting started. Yusuf was pleasantly surprised when Eloise reached for his manhood and began stroking him. In Yusuf’s experience with ladies from the Caribbean, they didn’t like to suck dick, unlike the White girls whom he occasionally hooked up with. Eloise proved to be the exception…

“Damn, Eloise, you’re a freak,” Yusuf murmured as the freaky Jamaican gal knelt before him and sucked his dick. Eloise winked at Yusuf and caressed his balls while sucking his dick. Yusuf relaxed and enjoyed what his girlfriend did for him. After Eloise polished his fuck stick and had him hard as a rock, Yusuf grabbed a condom and put her on all fours. Time to smash that thick Caribbean booty…

“Beat that pussy up,” Eloise said, grinding her big round ass against Yusuf’s groin. Smiling, Yusuf caressed Eloise ass, and smacked it. With a quick thrust, he buried his dick in her pussy. As they began to fuck in earnest, Yusuf quickly realized that Eloise sex game was second to none. The freaky Jamaican chick gave as good as she got, her pussy gripping his dick as he fucked her.

“Ride me,” Yusuf told Eloise, as they switched positions, a little while later. Eloise grinned at Yusuf, who lay flat on the living room carpet, stroking his hard dick. She came and impaled herself on his manhood, and then began to ride him. Yusuf smacked Eloise’s big round ass and slammed his dick into her pussy. Eloise rode him hard, shrieking in pleasure as Yusuf pinched her nipples, smacked her ass and fucked her roughly.

“To many more days like this one,” Eloise said to Yusuf, smiling, as they lay in bed later that night. Still seated on the bench, Yusuf smiled at the memory. He’d lost track of Eloise after graduating from Algonquin College. She moved to the City of Toronto, to continue her education at Ryerson University. Yusuf really missed Eloise. If she’d still been in his life, with her killer sex moves, he ( probably ) wouldn’t be confused…

Yusuf got up, and as he did so, another couple walked by. A tall, fine-looking young Black woman with dreadlocks and a portly, balding White guy who was at least ten years older than her. Without realizing it, Yusuf kind of stared at them, and what the couple did next surprised him. Miss Dreadlocks threw her arms around Mr. Pudgy and kissed him passionately, and then, looking at Yusuf, she smacked his chubby ass for emphasis.

“Whatever makes you happy,” Yusuf muttered under his breath as he kept on walking. The young Black woman’s actions didn’t surprise Yusuf. In the City of Ottawa and probably elsewhere, Black women who date White guys tend to show them off to whatever Black man happens to be around. Once again, Yusuf was surprised…not by his reaction but by his lack thereof.

Yusuf remembered when, a while ago, the sight of a fine-looking Black woman with a man who isn’t Black would piss him off and make him burn with jealousy. Yusuf recalled his heart wincing upon seeing such couples. Now he felt…nothing. Gone was the heart wince. He was puzzled by this lack of a reaction, and wondered what it could mean. Seriously, what the fuck?

Yusuf recalled a disturbing dream he’d had…a few weeks ago. He met a young woman named Mona at school, and they were supposed to chill together. Mona, a tall, slim but thick, chocolate-skinned cutie originally from Liberia seemed quite interesting when Yusuf met her at the Algonquin College library. They exchanged numbers and talked a lot over the next few weeks. Yusuf invited her to go see the Jordan Peele movie Us, the horror flick everyone was raving about…

“Sorry, my boss called me for work,” Mona told Yusuf, cancelling their plans three hours before they were supposed to meet at the Scotiabank theater in the east end of Ottawa. Yusuf was disappointed and saddened, before he really thought Mona was cool. Also, Mona was the first female whom Yusuf found himself attracted to since Eloise skipped town.

“It’s alright, Mona, another time,” Yusuf replied, even though he knew that the Liberian gal was blowing him off. She was probably at home, laughing at him with her girlfriends, or one of those effeminate guys that women seemed to collect like accessories. Another one bites the dust, Yusuf thought, shaking his head.

With his dear Eloise gone and those intense sexual fantasies about men clouding his consciousness, Yusuf really wanted to have sex with another woman and hopefully kaçak bahis straighten himself out. Mona seemed so damn promising, especially given how cute her ass looked in Yoga pants. Yusuf actually had a boner when he first saw Mona at the school library. She’d been bending over, tying her shoelaces when he first spotted her…

Yusuf felt drawn to Mona and saw her as the solution to his problem. Yusuf didn’t start to feel same-sex desires until after Eloise was gone. When Eloise was around, sucking and riding Yusuf’s dick several times a week, he was totally straight. Yusuf wanted to purge those homo feelings from his mind, and there was only one way to do that. Yusuf figured that once he got some pussy, everything would be back to normal…

Yusuf didn’t see anything appealing about the local LGBT community. In Ottawa, they weren’t the nicest people, to say the least. They were lily-White, uptight, fussy, artificial, full of masculine gals and effeminate males, and they were also weirdly racist against racial minorities while claiming to be oppressed. Oh, and they seemed to think that condoms were optional and that men having sex with other men in public washrooms was the epitome of coolness. Hanging out with them didn’t appeal to Yusuf at all…

In Yusuf’s mind, he was all about the ladies, and if he ever went for a fella, it wouldn’t be one of those weirdoes, thank you very much. Yusuf was disgusted by those bozos out there who act girly, sound girly, walk around with women while gossiping like bitches and have sex with male strangers in public washrooms. Nope, Yusuf loves the ladies but if he ever switched up, it would be for…his best friend.

Yusuf recalled the dream he had about Abdi, and in spite of himself, he smiled. In Yusuf’s dream, he and Abdi were chilling, having come home one night after dancing with the ladies at the club. They were just chilling on the couch, watching Black Mirror on Netflix when Abdi suddenly looked at Yusuf and smiled in a most mysterious way…

“Yusuf, have I ever told you how handsome you are?” Abdi said, and Yusuf grinned, and shrugged. If any other man said those words to Yusuf, he would have clocked him. When Abdi drew near and kissed him, Yusuf didn’t protest and instead kissed him back. Next thing Yusuf knew, he and Abdi had undressed and begun doing things that were haram but felt so good…

Yusuf woke up screaming, and felt both happiness and shame as he recalled the things which he and Abdi did…in the dream. They kissed and fondled one another, and then made passionate love. Yusuf had been with over a dozen women in his lifetime, and he vividly remembered doing things with Abdi which he honestly hadn’t thought possible…

“Some dream,” Yusuf remembered saying to himself, as he looked down at his rock-hard erection, and he smiled. In the dream, he and Abdi had stroked each other’s dicks, taking their sweet time pleasuring one another, and that had been just for starters. Yusuf went to take a shower, and although he put aside any thought of ever crossing that line with Abdi, or any other man, that dream was one of his fondest memories.

Yusuf flogged his memory for whatever might have triggered his dream about his best buddy Abdi. Yusuf had never even thought of Abdi in this manner during their Algonquin College days. Nope, Yusuf was straight as an arrow until fairly recently. Yusuf’s sexual confusion began after Eloise and Abdi moved away. As far as Yusuf knew, Abdi was straight. The tall, athletic Somali Muslim brother banged half the chicks at Algonquin College during his time there. No way he played for the other team, even part-time…

Still, Yusuf remembered times when Abdi commented on other men’s physiques while working out in the gym. At the time, Yusuf didn’t think anything of those comments. Perhaps Abdi was bisexual, like him? Nah, Yusuf couldn’t see it. Abdi was straight, and honestly, Yusuf didn’t want his best buddy going through the same trials and tribulations he was experiencing. He wouldn’t wish them on anyone…

Shrugging his broad shoulders, Yusuf continued to walk around the Bayshore Mall. Feeling famished but unsure of what to eat, he strolled through the Food Court. With his new awareness, Yusuf saw…them. The middle-aged Black man with the White wife and the mixed daughters dining at the table near Tim Horton’s. When the fella looked up and his eyes met Yusuf’s, the young man smiled and kept on walking. Kindred spirit, Yusuf thought.

Yusuf watched as a trio of tall, athletic young Black women walked by, full of confidence, attitude and sass. He admired them and smiled, and when one turned, saw him and shot him an angry look, he just shrugged it off. For the thousandth time Yusuf wondered why so many young Black women were guarded, or downright combattive, whenever a Black man happened to be near. Oh, well, life happens…

Yusuf continued his walk, and came across a fairly interesting duo. Two young, well-dressed men, a slim, almost elfin guy and a tall, burly, buff and muscular, brown-skinned dude, walked by. Upon closer inspection, Yusuf noticed that they were holding hands. Yusuf’s eyes met the buff dude’s, and they exchanged a respectful nod before Yusuf walked past the mismatched pair.

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